Gender Bending
by Endgame Scribe
Summary: When the students of McKinley High wake up, the boys are girls and the girls are boys. And there are bigger problems than just Puck staring at his own boobs.


**Inspired by something on the glee crack meme on LJ. Thanks to my spiffy beta friend helper thing, ALICE. She is my darling. And also known here as geisel.**

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><p>It was supposed to be a normal morning. There was absolutely no indication that anything was out of the ordinary. At first.<p>

Kurt Hummel's iPod alarm had gone off at its normal time that morning, blasting Out Tonight from Rent - the movie version, thank you very much - prompting him to stir slightly as he awoke.

Finn Hudson, however, shot up in his bed on the other side of their shared basement bedroom. He looked over to see a barely awake figure shifting under the covers of the other bed, a small tuft of hair peeking out the only visible part of his stepbrother Kurt. So he'd been dreaming.

Well, that explained McKinley's secret swimming pool, filled with macaroni and cheese.

Stretching his arms above his head, he felt... different. He didn't have his _morning problem._ In fact, it was almost like he couldn't feel his dick. And his head felt almost heavier, and when he tried to run his fingers through his hair, it was way longer than he remembered it was the night before.

Of course, looking down at his chest, there was an obvious difference.

His scream sounded almost like Rachel's in the way of pitch. In fact, Finn was sure that he shouldn't have been able to hit a pitch that high. Rachel had coached him through scales, but it hadn't been possible for him.

It was now.

Kurt finally started to respond once Finn screamed, lifting his head and causing Finn to scream again.

That wasn't Kurt. He knew that his stepbrother looked really girly on a normal day, but he didn't look like a girl.

So why was a girl in Kurt's bed?

She started to speak, and Finn instantly recognized that voice. "Finn, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I... you... it's... who are you?" Finn managed, completely confused.

The girl's eyes widened as they focused. "Holy shit, you're not Finn. What the hell? Didn't he consider Quinn and Rachel at all?" Her eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"

"Um," Finn cringed as he heard his voice, "I'm Finn Hudson. Except, I'm a girl. And I didn't try to be. And so are you."

Why would Kurt have a girl in his bed? Was this another thing like the Brittany thing last year?

"Finn, we've gone over this, just because -"

Finn smacked his forehead, saying to himself, "Duh! I'm dreaming." His brow furrowed. "I liked the macaroni pool dream better."

"_What are you talking about?_" The girl hissed. She held up a hand, closing her eyes and shaking her head, muttering something about "it's too early for this." She opened her eyes, and as she let out a scream of her own, Burt Hummel came rushing down the stairs, followed quickly by his wife, Carole. He started at the sight he was met with, but the girl hopped out of the bed and began to pace and clutch at - Kurt's pajamas?

"Who are you two?"

Finn looked over to his mom, and said to her, "I dunno what happened, Mom. But I'm a girl. I don't understand..." he trailed off, looking down at himself - herself? - and taking in how his clothes hadn't changed, and he still seemed to be tall, so that was at least normal.

A heavy silence fell over the basement bedroom.

"Finn?" Carole's voice was the first to break the silence. "Sweetie, that's you, isn't it?"

"Yep."

The girl sat on Kurt's bed, hands clutching at her hair as she said, "I'm not a girl. Why the fuck am I a girl? I can't be a girl. I'm a girl."

Comprehension dawned on Burt's features, and hestitantly putting his hand on the girl's shoulder he asked, "Kurt?"

"Yeah, Dad."

A pause. Something occured to Finn and he blurted out, "Wait, so Kurt, are you straight now?"

He was immediately hit on the head with a pillow.

Later, Kurt was dressed in his normal sort of clothes, though he complained that they were too tight across the chest and too loose in the shoulders. Finn just scratched his head and asked what he was supposed to wear. Kurt hadn't been happy to shell out a few clothing options for the clumsy, messy, and accident prone jock, but he'd chosen ones that weren't _too_ expensive. With a warning to Finn to be careful with them, they ventured upstairs to face their parents.

Carole was the only one there, smiling apologetically and saying that Burt had left early for the garage. No one needed to bring up that it was his day to work at home. The situation was uncomfortable enough.

Their respective cell phones clued them in to the fact that they were in no way alone as far as having a strange morning. Mercedes and Tina had sent Kurt texts in all caps, demanding that he pick them up early for school. Quinn had sent over a seemingly normal text, asking if everything was okay. Santana didn't have his number - thank god - but Brittany had sent a message asking if this was how he felt every day. Lauren, for whom he had grown a particular soft spot for, was asking Kurt if it really mattered whether or not guys wore girl clothes. Blaine's phone was broken, and his new one was supposed to arrive that afternoon, so there was no word from him, and Rachel was surprisingly absent from the growing list of messages for one so talkative, but he figured she was too freaked out about herself to think about anyone else right now.

Well, except maybe Finn.

Speaking of Finn, he was getting texts from Artie and Mike expressing how weird everything was, and from Sam saying something about Twilight zones, and he wondered what vampires had to do with being a girl. Puck was vague, mentioning that the day was starting out as the best and the worst day ever.

Kurt's Navigator pulled up to his girlfriends' respective houses, where he picked up a tall, vaguely intimidating black guy in a completely non-threatening Bedazzled jean jacket and a short Asian boy with blue highlights and heeled boots.

He was greeted with "You're so lucky that you don't have to compromise your wardrobe because of this," and "Oh, hell to the no! What's with this, white boy?"

Prompting Kurt to reply: "Don't be ridiculous, fashion has no gender," and "It's apparently white _girl_ now."

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><p>Emma Pillsbury had seen some crazy days at McKinley before, but having woken up completely normal, she had no way of anticipating the insanity that had swept through the student body that was also affecting most of the teachers as well.<p>

In fact, she wondered why she was still herself when Will came into school as a woman with ridiculously curly hair pulled back in a ponytail. She only tried to recognize the Glee kids, as no one else actually came to her for counseling or knew who she was, really.

The club had assembled in the choir room that morning. An emergency Glee meeting had been called and everyone had arrived, as they wouldn't be missed with the heightened level of disorder going on.

It was enough to make Emma lightheaded, almost dizzy. She hated disorder. And messiness. And dust and dirt.

There were a few that she recognized; Mercedes Jones had to be the black boy with the Bedazzled jacket, she was fond of that one; Tina Cohen-Chang was the boy with blue highlights, that much was for sure; that meant Mike Chang was the Asian girl with the fedora; Noah Puckerman had to be the girl who had run into the wall, as she was distracted by looking straight down her own cleavage.

As soon as everyone was there, Will clapped his hands in the front of the choir room and stated, "So, we all know that today has been... odd. Does anyone have any idea why this happened?"

A dazed looking boy in a Cheerios uniform raised his hand. His identity wasn't much of a mystery, as the uniform was the girls' version, so it was safe to assume that it was Brittany. Mr. Schue called on him. "Yes, Brittany?"

"Mr. Schue, where did my boobs go?"

The choir room was filled with nervous, awkward laughter as the cheerleader looked around in confusion.

Puck was openly staring at one girl in particular, in ridiculously well fitted clothing - especially the shirts, which were tight in all kinds of inappropriate places. He called out, "So which one're you, baby? You don't make a bad girl."

She proceeded to roll her eyes and snap, "You're not exactly my type anymore, are you, Noah?"

Puck's eyes widened in shock, and his skin became bright red. "Shit, Hummel, is that you?"

"Yes, Noah. I wasn't interested in you when you were the correct gender, and I'm certainly not interested now."

Puck grinned wolfishly. "C'mon, Princess, no one can resist the Puckasaurus. You've got to be at least a_ little_ interested."

Kurt shot him a glare and hissed, "Not one bit."

He averted his gaze regrettably only to be faced with an angry black guy in his face, glaring as intensely as Kurt was. "Stay away from my boy, Puckerman."

So this was Mercedes. He should've guessed. Not every guy will wear a sparkly jacket. "Your boy makes one hot chick, Aretha."

Since Mercedes was technically a chick, she had no problem with hitting another chick. Even when she was a guy. And since Puck was technically a chick now, he couldn't make something up about getting into a fight or something. Shit.

In his opinion, this wouldn't be a problem for too long. I mean, sure, he was a girl, but he was pretty hot, and there was no reason he couldn't look at himself naked. And there were all those other girls swarming the halls that he'd never seen - or slept with.

The bad news was that those girls were actually dudes: his teammates, his glee dudes, and his friends. And since he was technically a chick, did that make him... a lesbo?

This shit might not have been that bad, but it was sure as hell confusing.

At least he was still hot. Even as a chick.

Quinn Fabray was not happy. She had woken up that morning as a boy. She had to get out the last of her maternity clothes to find something that fit and wasn't a dress or skirt. Her boyfriend was now a bottle blond _girl_. And not even an attractive one, really, just with average looks. And she somehow _still_ had her stretch marks.

**Wow. I don't even... The story stick is to blame. It hit me. In the _face_.**

**So this started when I saw the prompt on the glee crack meme, and even then I didn't like the idea. But the second I read someone mention that Puck would run into a wall because he was staring at his own boobs made me have to write this.**

**I fail at life. It's official.**

**At least there's something to write now :D**


End file.
